drabble

Feb. 6th, 2011 01:10 pm
cold_clarity: (headnshoulder)
[personal profile] cold_clarity
Fissure
Gerard/Mikey
PG
Mikey and Gerard have a conversation shortly after Bandit's birth

Notes: Uh. One-shot drabble written in like. An hour. Unbeta'd, so if you see any glaring mistakes, holla at me.  Otherwise, none of this is real, don't take it seriously, etc etc.


They’re in the kitchen, alone with the baby and Mikey leans against the counter, watching Gerard cradle his daughter. It’s with a quiet kind of wonder that he touches her hair and traces the soft lines of her fingers, like he can’t quite believe she’s real. He’s been looking at her like that—with that disbelieving adoration—for an hour now.

Mikey has never seen Gerard so in awe.

She makes a mewling sound as baby hands curl into tiny fists. She squirms a little and, like it’s the most important thing in the world, Gerard bends his head to kiss her. A curtain of black hair eclipses his face and Mikey hears him murmur something. He can’t make out the words, though; the language lost against the cheek of a not-quite-sleeping infant.

Mikey shifts his weight from one foot to the other. There’s something hard and sharp in the center of his chest, like a lump of amber turning his lungs to crystalline. He looks down at his hands. Flexes them. His mouth feels full of threat-fiber columns—a latticework architecture that travels in pinpricks all the way down the tunnel of his throat. Sewing him up from the inside out.

“She’s lucky,” he says, and the words drag like shards dredged up from his gut.

I’m lucky,” Gerard replies, not missing a beat. And then, quieter, “I don’t want to fuck up.”

Mikey looks up at that. A quick jerk of his head.

“Hey.” He waits for Gerard to meet his gaze. “You won’t.”

His brother smiles and ducks his head a little. Mikey recognizes the bashful gesture. His hand twitches, awkward. An aborted decision to reach out and—

Nothing.

“I’m serious,” he says, voice low. “Look at you. You’re in love.”

Gerard’s smile dissolves. He looks at his little girl again and lets her precious infant hand grip his finger, like a gesture of possession. And Mikey can’t look away. Can’t take his eyes off the angles of Gerard’s profile or the way his lashes fall in perfect inkwash lines when he looks down at the tiny living person in his arms. And when his mouth moves to speak, Mikey’s musculature draws itself up taut, like he’s standing under high-tension wires and waiting for the electric fall.

“Love isn’t always enough, Mikes.”

This delivered with solemnity; Gerard’s voice no more than a whisper, but still heavy with apology. They’re discussing something else entirely, now, and for a moment Mikey’s mouth is full to brimming with a clotted, bitter taste. And, because he knows Gerard belongs to this life, and because the bitterness makes him feel cruel—or because he wants to touch him or shake him or simply see him flinch (just find the proof that he can still draw blood, if he wants to), Mikey looks away and answers, flatly:

“It can be, if you want it to.”



Date: 2011-02-06 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwencarmichael.livejournal.com
Ooh! This is so well written. Like, really REALLY well written. Very beautiful story, too, with a touch of heartbreak :)

Date: 2011-02-06 09:40 pm (UTC)
ext_942477: (beautiful)
From: [identity profile] viviansface.livejournal.com
GOD. If I wasn't in love with the idea of Gerard with his daughter (BEST.THING.EVER.) my heart would be broken for Mikey. :/

I really loved this, beautifully written.

Date: 2011-02-06 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xx-anarchy-xx.livejournal.com
Oh man the angsty heartbreak contrasting with the sheer adorableness makes for wonderful reading

Date: 2011-02-06 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-twistedshell.livejournal.com
Ugh, I'm so tired, so this probably made me cry a lot more than it should've.

It was wonderful.

Date: 2011-02-07 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] subcutis.livejournal.com
Gorgeous-- your imagery is always amazing, esp. "threat-fiber columns." Wonderful.

Very,very sweet and impossibly sad in that it's not SAD SAD OVERSTATED SAD AUUUHH. Subtle and perfect. Love it.

Date: 2011-02-07 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weekendgothgirl.livejournal.com
Awww so beautiful <3
I feel so sorry for Mikey but the image of Gee in awe of his daughter is so adorable :D

xxx

Date: 2011-02-07 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weekendgothgirl.livejournal.com
*sighs* He is and yeah poor Mikey has to watch from the outside :/ He's probably not used to that as well :(

Haha don't worry love <3

xxx

Date: 2011-02-07 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cypress-smile.livejournal.com
oooh this is so lovely, excellent job.

Date: 2011-02-08 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pikasafire.livejournal.com
Oh, this is amazing.

<3

So much said in so few words <3 Well done!

Date: 2011-02-08 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toucanpie.livejournal.com
Oh wow, this is heartbreaking. But your language is gorgeous ♥

Date: 2011-02-09 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toucanpie.livejournal.com
NO U!

>:| GERARD SAYS THERE ARE LOTS OF HAPPY TIMES BETWEEN THEM! LIKE THE TIME HE WORE THE SHORT SHORTS FOR MIKEY AND MIKEY WAS SO STRUCK WITH LUST THAT HE RIPPED THEM STRAIGHT OFF! ALSO THAT TIME WHEN THEY RE-ENACTED RETURN OF THE JEDI IN THE BACK LOUNGE OF THE BUS AND MIKEY FINALLY AGREED TO WEAR THE EWOK SUIT! AND THAT TIME GERARD CALLED OUT GRANT BY MISTAKE DURING - ACTUALLY, WAIT. THAT WASN'T A HAPPY MOMENT.

.. oh god, i'm sorry.

Date: 2011-02-09 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toucanpie.livejournal.com
YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.

===========

"What?" Mikey said flatly.

"Oh god," Gerard whimpered. He had really really not meant to say that. Mikey looked incredibly pissed. Not to mention he'd stopped all movement. (And it wasn't just that Gerard was still hard and Mikey was still inside him and everything had been going really nicely before. It was also that Gerard was a bad person and Mikey deserved some form of apology.) "I didn't mean it?"

"I should fucking hope you didn't mean it," Mikey said. "You're thinking about Grant right now? Really?"

"Um," Gerard said. "No?"

The hands that had been pleasantly holding him down before suddenly became much more vice-like round his wrists.

"I was reading Doom Patrol before bed!" Gerard babbled. "And he called earlier! He's just on my mind!"

Mikey raised an eyebrow. "Would you like me to call him now?"

"No," Gerard said quickly, because he knew the danger of answering those sort of questions truthfully. "Well, I mean yes, a threesome would be awesome, but I understand that now is maybe not the right time to get into that."

It was more something to bring up during the afterglow. When they were cuddling.

"Right," Mikey said, letting Gerard go to reach over to the bedside table where his phone was resting. "What time is it in the UK now?"

"Nnngh," Gerard said, because Mikey was definitely still inside him and even just stretching for a phone felt pretty good. Then he caught sight of the thunderclouds on Mikey's face and summoned his thinking brain back.

"4 am."

"Perfect," Mikey said darkly. He tapped the screen a few times and lifted the phone to his ear. Then he smiled. "Oh dear, his phone's switched off and we'll have to leave him a message. Isn't that a pity?"

He reached over and set the phone back on the bedside table. "What kind of a message do you think we should leave him, Gerard?"

"Um," Gerard said. Mikey's fingers returned to their place around his wrists and squeezed just the way he liked it. It was kind of distracting. "That we miss him? That he should come out again soon?"

Mikey bent down and licked slowly up Gerard's neck.

"Not quite what I had in mind."

Gerard squeaked at the hot wet slide of Mikey's tongue. "Mikey, the phone - you didn't turn it off."

"Whoops," Mikey said, and snapped his hips forward.

Date: 2011-02-09 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toucanpie.livejournal.com
\o/ Mission declared a success :D

LATER HE DIRTY TALKS GERARD TO ORGASM WITH MENTIONS OF DOUBLE PENETRATION. OR UM. I MEAN WHAT? >_>

<3333

Date: 2011-02-09 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toucanpie.livejournal.com
oh dude, yes. Gerard would be a whimpering mess just imagining it. and Mikey would pet him tenderly and suggest they could also show Grant how well Gerard takes Mikey's fist.

TOTALLY NORMAL, TOTALLY.

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